A Letter to the Grieving Mom
Go ahead and cry mama.
It's okay. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to hide. It's okay to not be okay. You have lost something. Something that was a part of you, someone that always will be. Your world has turned upside down, in a matter of days or maybe even minutes. What you thought you knew, is no more. It's okay to feel crushed. It's okay to feel lost. Your God is powerful, isn't he? Your God can move mountains, can't he? So why did he leave you here? Why did he bring you into this storm that has no sign of passing? It's okay to be angry. It's okay to ask why.
Our God is powerful and he can move mountains, but he doesn't always. When we are in the midst of a storm or trial we usually respond in one of two ways; we either immediately seek out God and have faith that he will carry us through the trial, or (probably the majority of us) immediately panic and ask God why on earth he would give YOU this trial?! I mean come on, you don't deserve this. Why would he choose to take your son, your daughter? You are a good person and yet he decided to take your child away from you. My friends, our children are children of God. They were his to give and they are his to take. We are called to have faith and trust him even in the storm, even through the unanswered prayers, even through our heartbreak. If we were never put through trials we would have no need for God. Everybody will go through trials. It says so right in the bible; it actually says you will have many trials.
"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Go ahead and cry mama, I promise it will get better.
I know right now, it might seem impossible. You might be at that stage where you can't seem to make it out of bed. Maybe you are starting to feel like your normal self, then you are hit with a flashback or a memory and you find yourself on the bathroom floor in tears once again. Maybe you are finally starting to go out again, be around friends and family again, but it still doesn't feel right. Or maybe it has been 30 years since your loss and you are simply longing for the day when you get to see your child again. Your pain will never go away, nor will the love you have for your child. You will always have moments where you breakdown and all you can do is cry. However, despite what you are feeling in this moment, you will be okay. You will live life differently then before, because a piece of you is now missing, but you will learn how to live again.
So go ahead and cry mama, but remember, God is holding your tears.
"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." Psalm 56:8
Below are three songs that I still listen to multiple times throughout the week. Give them a listen and remember that he is sovereign, he is powerful, and he is love. Cling to him during this storm, let this be a testimony to your faith, not a anchor that drowns you.